How Many I Love Yous Before She Said GoodBye
by insane-pilosopo
Summary: Regrets always come in the end as most would say. RyomaxSakuno.
1. Prologue

a/n my first story to be uploaded so please go easy on me! :) had this account for such a long time and just ahd the guts to post now...haha!

anyways, this story is about Ryoma and Sakuno...but more on Ryoma. Just read on to find out why the story's entitled 'How many I love yous before she said good-bye'. Enjoy!

Prince of tennis is Konomi Takeshi's property, not mine.

Story concept's mine.

**How Many I Love Yous Before She Said Good-Bye**

Waves splash back and forth on the shore; the sun sets a brilliant red orange facade in the sky and the cry of birds mesh with the sea's waves and the cool wind that brought it about. The sense of calmness in the vicinity was enough to keep one's stress away even for awhile, but someone at the very same beach watching the waves move back and forth in perfect timing against the shore isn't just anybody, and today, like all his days, he felt lonely.

Unbelievable, but yes, like you and me, he could also feel loneliness. The feeling of being alone in a huge world; being petite to the demands of everyday life and having no one, I dare say, no one to speak of it about with, no one to journey across with and no one to hold a hand with and stare up at the expanse world of the sky filled with stars and wonderful stories.

Tonight, he thought of his regrets once more. It wasn't just a once-in-awhile thought. No, it was on a daily basis for 8 long years. Most people would say that's crazy; others would ask if you got crazy; psychologists would say that's unhealthy, holding on to a past that should be forgotten to move on. Miraculously, those regrets may be his weaknesses, but also became his greatest strength, and he won't be letting go of it anytime soon.

"It's been eight years…" he mumbles to himself and let out a soft laugh. "I think I'm going crazy since I'm talking to myself." Feeling the cold wind, he zipped his jacket up again and put his hands in his pockets in search for warmth.

Eight long years. What could have happened in those secret years he had not talked to anyone with since?

Someone said good-bye to him that seemed to be permanent to his ears.

'If only…he told himself in his thoughts. 'if only I had taken better attention…and didn't become a jerk…' closing his eyes, he let his mind wander to the memories he wished to have forgotten, or rather, he wished to start all over again.

He first met her when they were freshmen students in junior high. It wasn't that quite the real deal, but they were seemingly attached to each other. Somewhat like a brother-sister attachment. This often led to misunderstandings and mistakes by his sempais on the club. But no matter, she kept cheering him on, supporting him, even if, he admits, that he didn't quite give it too much importance. It was like the last thing on his list to give importance to. And when he had to leave, she was present on his departure day. They talked, exchanged contacts, perhaps, and said good-byes, that he felt was never really a good-bye. Anyways, meet again or not, it doesn't matter, as long as he'd reach his goal. But it mattered to her so she made every extra effort that whenever he made one step up, she did everything to keep updated about him and to contact him even once a month. He seldom returned the calls and e-mails.

Soon, he came back after two years and entered High school. Not much surprised, he knew she'd be at the same school as he was. They met, talked and he did in fact, noticed she had changed at some point. He always knew her in junior high as the shy girl with long braided twin tails; his coach's clumsy, navigationally-challenged and tennis hopeless granddaughter. But as he looked at her now, she was mature, her shyness lessened at some extent and that she had developed a bit regarding physical aspects. She was pretty. But despite all these, he'd comment on her hair being still too long.

He couldn't exactly remember why, but they suddenly became a couple. But being a couple, he knows deep down in his younger self, was the last option in his life, if not, a last resort to get rid of his raged fan girls and their obsession over him. He was, after all, mister popularity and he didn't give attention to this. Their relationship was more of one-sided, with her being the one to give her heart out most of the time.

They stayed like that for three years, until graduation. She'd always been there for him, cheering him on, supporting him, and helping him out in trouble, and always patient with him. She tried to make conversation, even send out e-mails and text messages saying a greeting or a nice warm hello. He didn't return much of the gestures though, except with material presents. He never realized that she had been longing for him to return the favor for her emotional needs. He never cared much. If not, he cared less about her being his girlfriend. They went out on dates, but it didn't seem like a date. It seemed more like 'rant day' or 'silence day', even 'walk and leave her to walk behind you' thing. The only things he'd sometimes tell her is either connected to school, tennis or he'd comment on how long her hair was even though he wasn't looking and seeing that she had a new hair cut or hair style or even a new look.

Most of the time, or if she had chances, she'd tell him she liked him, until she wasn't shy anymore to say that she loved him dearly. She must have said that more than a hundred times to him already, but he can't even remember how many times she did say it, and how she said it as well as when she'd say it. It was as if when she told him she loved him, it was just like an ordinary word used on a regular basis, and he never knew if she cared that he heard or not.

If there's one thing to be admired about the girl is that it's her patience with him. There have been chances that she could leave him, yet she didn't and remained faithful enough. Too faithful maybe. She never drew the line on him, perhaps, until that one fateful day he'd soon regret.

He was, as mentioned earlier, a popular, handsome boy with many crazed fan girls, and having a simple girl like her become his girlfriend is unforgivable to some crazed fan girls. On the first two years of their relationship, she had only been notified of threats from the fan girls, but was assured by friends that she'd never be touched by the crazed fan girls. She trusted that. She believed her friends, even him though he just said that the threats she got was nothing in his life. Maybe she believed too much for the past two years.

When she became a senior, she received a beating from three girls in the girl's room. She tried to hide her bruises away, but he still saw it. He asked, and when she answered, didn't entirely care if she lied on her excuse that she slipped on the girl's room or not. The following weeks became worse and girls who beat her up increased in number; most of the girls who beat her were from their batch. Her best friend would scold her for she wasn't fighting it back or telling her boyfriend about it; her boyfriend's teammates would worry over her; and he…he could care less actually.

When finally, she got her beating of a lifetime, she decided to tell him. Guess what he said? "Why'd you allow yourself to be beaten up by those girls?"

It was like telling her how stupid she was for not fighting back. A slap in the face to wake up to reality it was. Good going, a little support and worry could have been better, really.

And that was when she drew the line. It wasn't because her patience thinned out, she explained. It's just that she can't go on with having someone who doesn't care for her at all and with the way things are now, it has become too complicated. She doesn't even know if what they have should be called a relationship at all.

"I'm sorry." Her soft voice sounded in his ears. "I'm really sorry. I said what I needed to say. That's going to be all, because this is the last…." She'd pause, and he'd remember vividly, her crying at him; her tearful eyes she tried to cover or wipe away the water coming out. She'd sigh deeply as if to take a deep breath before starting to talk once more. He just stared at her, in awe. "It has to be this way, I guess…" she said, trying a smile even though she knew it was a fake.

"What?" he asked, a little confused and dazed at what just took place earlier.

She took his hand gently, and placed a small box on his palm and closed his hand to a balled fist. She took in a deep breath. "The last…" she tried to continue and even stop her tears that were forming in her eyes. "t-the last….we'll…I'm …I'm very sorry….." she bowed her head and closed her eyes, allowing her tears to fall once more. Some fell on their hands. She gripped his balled fist and took deeper breaths. "I…I just wish…..wish you …you will have a nice….and…happy life…a-and…" she sniffed. "And…that you'll…achieve your goals…and be happy…with …else…"

He raised an eyebrow at her and in his gut, he felt something wrong was truly going on right now, and he didn't like it one bit. Deep in his gut, it was telling him to do something or he'll regret things later on if he didn't. He didn't do anything, because truth be told, he felt afraid. He was petrified of what his thoughts, his insides and his feelings were telling him. It was something he never understood before and before he could grasp this feeling, fear embraced him first.

"w-what are…" he tried to say.

She looked at him straight in the eye and for a few seconds, he felt what was going on; he now knew what would happen next.

Her eyes sparkled like the first time he saw them; full of life, gay and joy. She smiled like a calm and serene angel though the tears streaming down her rosy cheeks were deceiving. With a last take of deep breath before him, she said the words that stunned him and will linger in his memories and thoughts for the next eight years.

"I Love you…Good-bye!"

And with that, she let go of his hand, turned away from him and ran. He stood stunned.

The item she put in his hand happened to be the first present he gave her as his girlfriend: a beautiful pendant.

It happened on his birthday. It happened on Christmas Eve.

And for the next eight years, the memory of Ryuuzaki Sakuno crying to him and saying good-bye lingered on his thoughts with remorse and regret tugging his gut.

"I could have been a better boyfriend but I didn't give myself the chance to be for you." He told himself as he opened his eyes. The sun almost down and gone, the wind growing stronger, pushes the waves closer on the shore, to where he stood. "I wonder where you are now…and how you are now…" he mumbled once more, looking down on his feet; realizing the water's nearer to his feet now. Thoughts went through his thick mind as he reached for the necklace hanging on his neck. It was the pendant she returned to him. 'If only I apologized then…or went after you, I could still see you today…but I never got to apologize, right? You left, and told no one where you went. No one, not even your best friend, or maybe you told her not to tell me. You moved away with your grandmother…'

"I could have been….I could have….then maybe you'd still be here beside me…" he uttered below his breath. Echizen Ryoma could never hope for anything else, but this.

With one last look of regret at the sea, he sighed and turned away from the great pool of sorrow and go home to the emptiness of his house, and drown himself in loneliness before he thought of anything else.

--end?--


	2. Chapter 1

a/n: I'm so sorry I only decided to continue this story! But here it is! Please don't kill me! Things had just gotten a lot busier than expected since I last wrote the epilogue of this story and almost forgotten the plot I set up for this, but luckily, I still remember and decided to type it while in a meeting in school. (I had my dad's laptop, and the keyboard is just so great to use when typing which kind of put me in the mood) now here it is, I hope you guys like it!

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**Chapter One: Dreams and Decisions**

He had been considering it in long while. He was even dreaming of it. Must he go through this or not? It has been years after all since he last set foot in his own turf, his homeland. He sighs as he sat up from his bed. Here was proud 25-year-old Ryoma Echizen, having trouble sleeping; his mind wandering towards a memory. Many would think something was wrong since it was perfectly unhealthy that he could not sleep that so well at night, still he was able to excellently perform and deliver his skills in tennis. He did have to live up to his name of being the king; a true tennis royal.

Still, many would really tell him to go have a check up with a doctor since; it had not been happening for days. It had been going on for years, since that day he dreaded so much and he had pretty much gotten used to it. The only part he hated about it is a certain memory.

It was no wonder if that memory was the memory of her crying in front of him, trying so hard to put a smile on her face.

He sighs and crashes back down, still thinking. Why does he have to endure this? Why did he have to dream about her, about that memory? It was just too much really; too much to take in. Why her of all people?

A ring of a phone in his bedside roused him to sit up once more as he took it, without even a glance to see who was calling him. "Yeah what?" he growled, irritated that there was someone calling him at this late an hour and at such a crucial moment when he was wondering why he was still dreaming of a certain someone.

"Two rings and you picked up, ah, trouble sleeping again?" Ryoma rolled his eyes. It was unlikely of him, but he still did so. He knew who it was calling him.

"What do you want Dad?" he growled. He was really irritated that someone would be calling him late this hour and even more so during a critical moment when he was asking himself why he even bothered to give his dream a thought.

"I call to say hello and this is what I get from my own blood, what an ingrate you are, son." said Nanjiroh, through a laugh.

"It's 3 in the morning over here, now say what you want to say or I'll hang up and go back to sleep." snapped Ryoma.

"Your mother was wondering when you'll be coming back home for a visit." A visit? Back home? If Ryoma were to set foot in Japan, there'll be a dozens of photographers and fans hounding him every single second. Nah, he won't announce his arrival. That's that. "I thought I'd give you a ring and you could know so you could surprise your mom."

"hm." Ryoma grunted. "yeah."

"Really? So when are you coming back then?"

But Ryoma clearly had no plan on telling his father when he was going to come back since he hung up and turned his phone off. He stayed there for five minutes, sitting on his bed staring at nothing but on the floor. He was still thinking about going 'home', about his dream that consisted…of her…if he comes back, then he could…that's just a possibility. \

After five minutes, he turned his phone on again and decided to call someone.

He called for a plane ticket back to Japan first thing in the morning and once it was decided, he stood up and began to pack.

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a/n: So sorry it's so short, but i'm a bit busy right now; I'll get to more details in the next! :)


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